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The Paper (about the movie) that Changed My Life


Comments for in-class textual analysis examples
“Image Theatre”: How does your body language represent your analysis? What was the purpose of the main speaker turning around to face the other actors? Great work getting all group members involved. You spoke clearly and articulated well. Your body language added some humor to the poem. Was this intentional?
“Reader Theatre”: The drumming adds an emotional element that I hadn’t thought about. It sets the temp and cadence of the poem. Nice addition, and thoughtful analysis. I love that you changed voices throughout the poem, switching narrators. It shows an interpretation that gives a voice to many people. Also – greatly enjoyed the silence of the drumming to highlight the importance of what the author wants to communicate with the audience. VERY EFFECTIVE.

Nike- Great commentary. You have analyzed this add completely. I like your thought bubble coming from the shoe. Is there another way you could have represented this. Could the shoe have been talking? Perhaps you could have mentioned the word ‘boing’ in your analysis. I’m glad you used the term ‘ironic’. Great use of vocab! Interesting point about how athletes are never seen wearing these shoes.
Captains-Very thoughtful! Love your word choice! Also loved that you did not stray from the true form of the ad, you merely just changed the words. Your witty copy in the ad is so similar, yet the differences speak volumes. I also think that your point of view comes across. Do you support the drink? Or is this merely a huge satire on the original ad. The images also say a lot about your analysis. Very well thought out! Great work!
The Crucible TA: You have a good thesis in the first paragraph. I’m concerned that you are making very broad statements that are not necessarily about the text or statements that don’t seem to have any factual, objective basis. (“People today because of its uncertainty fear witchcraft”, “People today have so many things to fear that when something new pops up it is utter chaos”) Statements like these are very broad and have little merit. You could rephrase it saying that “people may fear witchcraft because it is not a well known practice”. Actually, instead of making it broad, make it specific to the text: “people in the Crucible feared witchcraft because of its uncertainty” e.g.) Also, make sure to explain your quotations. It think you have some great ideas throughout the paper, and your evidence could be quite insightful. Next time try explaining the text, and explain how the quote adds to your thesis. Also – for the next paper, read through the paper out loud. There are quite a few grammar and mechanical errors that I really think you could catch if you read it aloud a few times. Make sure to proof read – I know how well you have been doing on grammar, so keep it up and keep reviewing!
The Crucible Website: GREAT DESIGN AND LAYOUT! Very easy to navigate through! Super impressed with your creativity. Your ideas are well thought out and well written. You have used excellent grammar and mechanics. MASTER! You certainly put in a lot of work into the research of the revolution. I think that it is interesting that you did this because it shows that to understand a text completely you must know the context! Excellent! You table is very easy to read and lays out your argument very clearly. Your quotes and references are good. Could you explain them a little bit more to give us a sense of why you used that quote? Lastly, thanks for including references – very professional!
Analysis of Societal Issue: Your paper had a good use of language. You articulated each sentence well and gave ample support. One thing I noticed it that you seemed to jump sides – you at first seemed to support ads in schools and then you seemed to be against it. Make sure to pick a stance and stick with it. One idea that may help is to write one sentence on scrap paper that sums up the main idea in each paragraph. This may show you how your arguments change and evolve and possibly flip to another side. Just be sure to stay consistent. Otherwise – Excellent thought process and examples.
Wikibook: I love the layout of this. It makes your argument very understandable. CREATIVITY! You also have excellent citations. Well done. I like that you separated the types of schools and explained what each are to your audience. The “obstacles” in the chart in ‘for-profit’ schools is very insightful. Excellent references list. What is your opinion? What type of school is best? Do you think one is better than the other? How could you have added your opinion in the review? Is your opinion necessary to this layout or is it mostly informative?



Classroom Community and Group Writing project

CIP 4 and Wikiposts